I started a new job at a small clinic back in February, and I'm beginning to regret my decision. The training period is four months, and I'm only making $9 an hour. During the interview, they emphasized that this role was a long-term commitment, which I understood, but I didn't fully grasp the workload involved. I've only worked in retail before, and this environment is completely different for me. I often feel like my team lead is frustrated with me, and I'm constantly second-guessing myself. I'm struggling to learn the receptionist duties, and when I freeze up, I don't ask for help. The pressure to be fast and efficient by the end of next month is overwhelming. Just a couple of weeks ago, I caused a backlog that resulted in a patient leaving, which was incredibly humiliating. The stress is affecting my health; I experience stomach cramps and anxiety every time I prepare for work. I suspect I might be on the spectrum, which makes it hard to connect with my coworkers. There's only one person I relate to, and that's over a shared interest in LEGO. I feel like everyone has their own dynamic that I can't seem to break into, and my mental health has taken a significant hit. I often fantasize about getting into accidents to avoid going to work. I want to leave this job, but I know it would look bad on my resume. My parents are supportive, but they also think I should stick it out. I've had performance evaluations with the head doctor, who wants me to emulate the team lead, but I don't want that for myself. In June, they're planning to give me more hours to 'practice,' which I fear will only lead to more misery. I'm feeling trapped and unsure of what to do next. It took me so long to find this job, and I don't want anyone to think I got it just to benefit from free appointments for my dad.