Defiant-Increase-850's journey

I recently found myself feeling overwhelmed at the thought of job interviews. Diagnosed with both Autism and ADHD since my teenage years, I’m struggling to even apply for positions due to the anxiety that comes with interviews. I’ve had a couple of jobs in the past, but I can’t shake the feeling that I only got those roles because the interviewer felt sympathy or because I had connections. My main challenges during interviews involve body language, tone, and recalling my past experiences. I tend to speak in a monotone voice, and any attempts to change that often come off as exaggerated. My facial expressions are hard to control, and I’ve been told that my body language can be difficult for others to read. When I practice in front of a mirror, I often can’t pick up on the subtle inflections I need to convey. I’ve tried preparing for interviews, but I struggle to remember my achievements and skills when asked. The idea of bringing note cards feels uncomfortable, but I often find myself forgetting my points mid-sentence. Marketing myself is another hurdle. My self-esteem is quite low, and I find it challenging to articulate my skills and experiences. I wish I could just demonstrate my abilities on the job instead of going through the interview process. Everything a potential employer needs to know is on my resume, and I feel like they could just reach out for clarification if needed. Interviews just don’t seem to make sense to me.