mega_lova_nia's journey

It's been almost two years since I was laid off from my position as a design quality assurance engineer. I was let go by my managers, who labeled me as "uncooperative." Reflecting on my time there, I find myself questioning whether I should try to make peace with my past mistakes or just move on. In my second job, I had adopted a mindset that seemed to align with modern work culture, where I aimed to do the bare minimum, thinking my boss would always earn more than me. While I was efficient and completed my tasks quickly, I struggled with taking the initiative to do more than what was assigned. I believed I was being cooperative, but ultimately, my performance didn't meet expectations, and I was let go after just a year. I remember my manager mentioning that he tried to keep me on despite pressure from his boss to fire me after six months. He also noted that younger colleagues appreciated my presence, while older ones did not. This feedback lingers in my mind, making me wonder if I really wasn't as bad as I think. Now, living abroad and pursuing higher education, I still grapple with these thoughts. Should I learn to let go of my past and strive to improve? I don't want to become just another employee who blindly follows orders. I tend to be open about my thoughts at work, sharing ideas that could potentially benefit the company and my coworkers. However, I often feel that my honesty might be seen as a negative trait. I can't help but think about how different things might have been if I had kept my job. I wouldn't be abroad, relying on my parents for financial support while studying a subject that feels uncertain. I had a decent salary that was above minimum wage, and I wonder if I should have approached my work differently. I don't regret my actions, but I wish I had a clearer understanding of my worth and how to navigate the workplace dynamics.